fear.

“for the Lord your God is the One who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” Deuteronomy 20:4

I think one of the biggest tools that the Enemy uses to distract us from our calling is fear.  Fear of letting people down, fear of the road ahead, fear of making the wrong decision, or fear of not being able to get our way. We love complete control (or at least I do) and so to not have complete control is one of the most terrifying feelings.

When I was in High School I always dreamed of writing. I wanted to be on the New York Times Bestsellers list. I wanted to write to help people grow closer to the Lord. I wanted to make a difference, and be able to impact the lives of Gods children through my words and my experiences, but it is fear that has always hindered me from pursuing that. Thoughts of “am I good enough?”, “would people even read what I have to say?”, “maybe the Lord could use someone else who is better with words”, “what if people hate what I have to say”…all those thoughts would run through my mind until I would eventually give up. Time and time again my writings would be deleted due to fear. Fear of rejection, fear of letting the Lord down, fear of being laughed at or told I wasn’t good enough. Fear had pretty much consumed me when it came to writing // even now I have wondered if this blog post even matters.

So each time I sit down to write on this blog I have to focus my heart and mind. Without that focus I become so easily distracted, discouraged, and I slowly allow fear to creep in- and if I am not careful I end up deleting the post, closing my laptop, and walk away feeling defeated.

That’s the thing about fear. Fear plays into our insecurities and will make us lose focus of our victory. As children of God we already have victory, but we are so good at allowing ourselves to walk away feeling defeated. Ephesians 6:13 “therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand”. The Enemy won’t wait for us to get our act together before he chooses to attack; he will start his attack when he believes that we are most vulnerable.

Recently, as in a couple weekends ago, I went to my first Needtobreathe concert. It more honestly more amazing than I was even anticipating (and I had pretty high expectations). Anyway, it was during their song ‘Testify’ that I realized that living in fear was not where the Lord wants His children to live- He wants us to “come to the fountain to be satisfied“. We each have a testimony, we each have a story that can be used to pour His truth into others lives, to encourage, and to show the world a glimpse of His love. It is when we allow ourselves to let go of fear and allow ourselves to live in His peace and love that we are reminded of our victory in Christ. One of the verses says,wave after wave, as deep calls to deep. Oh, I’ll reveal my mystery. As soon as you start to let go“. It is when we are able to let go and surrender our lives to the Lord that we will be satisfied and will find ourselves walking in victory.

The lyrics to the song Testify are so powerful. It says “Give me your heart, Give me your song, Sing it with all your might, Come to the fountain and you can be satisfied. There is a peace, there is a love you can get lost inside. Come to the fountain and Let me hear you testify // Into the wild, Canyons of youth. Oh, there’s a world to fall into. Weightless we’ll dance like kids on the moon“. I think when we are able to surrender our fears, our securities, and our need of control- we are able to live satisfied. I am not saying life will be easy sailing- there will definitely be hard winds ahead, but in those storms we will rest knowing that we have victory through Christ; that those distractions are just tactics being used by the Enemy to distract us from out calling.

Like I said earlier, as I sit here writing this post, the negative thoughts are attempting to creep in. However, whether one person is impacted by my words or hundreds- I write because I truly believe the Lord can use me and use my words to encourage others. I have no idea what your story is or what the Lord may be calling you to, but I encourage you to let go. Let go of the fears that are holding you back, push past the distractions, and surrender your insecurities to the Lord. The Enemy only has as much power as you give him in your life.

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