I absolutely love to read. I always have. However, for the past few years, my book reading has drastically declined. I use to fall asleep reading and would wake up with my face plastered in the pages, but now I get smacked in the face when my iPhone falls on my face. I dose off while scrolling through the latest Instagram posts and Snapchat videos.
Lately I have been so exhausted. And the fact that I am just a single lady with no children, I don’t even have an excuse to be so tired. But I think I am tired because my life feels like an endless roller coaster. Just one twist and turn after another. I keep wondering why I am so tired and why I have quit reading and if those things are connected.
I miss reading. I miss the browsing through Barnes and Nobles to find a new book, and being able to take those quiet moments away from social media. I would definitely say that I regret how I have chosen to use my time. Caring more about the latest Hollywood breakups, the latest trips my friends have taken, and staring at YouTube videos for hours more than giving my brain the much needed rest that it needs. The rest I get with the turning of the next page.
The truth is, that I am exhausted because I am taking no time to exhale. And Jesus did not intend for me to live this way. I am pretty sure this isn’t the abundant life talked about in John 10:10. I don’t think Jesus is necessarily anti-Instagram or a hater of social media, but I do think that He is against us wearing ourselves out to the point of exhaustion. I do think He is a big fan of rest and quiet.
I have had to put a limit on my phone usage before bed, and decided to grab a few books to put on my night stand. This makes me feel more obligated to read and not stare at my phone for hours. I think when we notice something that needs to be changed, its our job to make a plan to correct it. I had to ask Jesus to make new the broken places in my life and give me the courage to face whatever things that I am not willing to face. Time to get back into reading, spending quiet time with the Lord, and not staring at my phone for the latest updates.
So….here’s to a healthier heart and a much more rested mind.