When I was a little girl I loved to dream, especially when it came to love and the man who would one day capture my heart. As I continued to grow up I continued to fall more and more in love with the idea of love. I would sit on the swing in the back yard on those warm New York evenings, listening to music, staring up at the beautiful sky, and dreaming of my future. I would dream of a man who would see me, love me, protect me, and fully accept me (flaws and all). I think this was every young girls story. Unfortunately, somewhere between real life and heartbreak, many of us got a bit jaded. And after years of waiting for Mr. Right, it’s easy to give up. Whether it was a heart shattering breakup or years of (what seems like) wasted time with Mr. Wrongs; it felt easier to give up on the idea of love than to risk what could come from it.
It feels so easy to have a sense of hopelessness when it comes to our own personal love story and to assume that love is only a fairytale (something we read about or see in movies). We forget where love originated and what real, true love looks like. And without noticing it we can quickly become impatient while waiting on God to write our love story that we decide to settle.
Despite what our childhood dreams taught us, we learn that love doesn’t always look like a fairytale. We learn that real-life love will probably never look like a Christmas Hallmark movie (like the one I just finished watching). But that doesn’t mean it won’t be beautiful, epic, and so worth the wait. Our desire for that type of love and companionship was placed in our heart when our Creator created us.
If we can fully understand that Christ is pursuing us and that He loves us unconditionally, I don’t think we would continue searching for a man to validate us; we would know that our identity is in Christ. We won’t have to waste our time dating men who know nothing about pursuing the heart of a woman. We won’t allow a mans acceptance or lack thereof to define us. Our identity is in Christ and we don’t need just any man who looks good or is fun to hang out with, but a godly man who knows how to pursue our heart in a unique way.
A godly woman desires the type of man who sees her for who she is and embraces every part of her, both the beautiful and the ugly; a man who has gone through the hard work of pursuing God’s heart first in search of hers; a man who understands partnership and is brave enough to partner with her. A man who can lead from a place of strength and purity.
Women- that is the type of man you should be looking for.
And it is just as important that a godly woman be the type of woman that a man desires to pursue. One who is simply confident in what she knows she needs, she is realistic in her expectations; she respects her body and her worth, and she is filled with grace, humility, and strength. She fears the Lord, and has a spirit of love flowing through her.
I have known many ladies over the years who are borderline desperate when it comes to the dating scene. They are so consumed with finding a man that it becomes their life quest.They begin to place their identity in their relationship status instead of being a woman worth pursuing. By stepping back and allowing a man to be the pursuer, you are showing your faith in God by giving up control of something you want to hold onto so tightly. It’s just like being blindfolded- you are trusting God and you have no idea what the outcome will be. You don’t know if your heart will end up broken or blessed. (scary, i know!) BUT, the right kind of woman will be able to take the risk and entrust her heart fully to God.
There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is brave, strong, and emboldened because of who Christ is in her. Not in her own strength and bravery, but in Gods.
Hold out for the one who pursues you, he will be worth it!