Sometimes I love this world we live in and other times I despise it.
I love God’s beauty when I look outside at the Blue Ridge Mountains, I love the giggles I hear coming out of my nieces and nephews mouths, I love the people that hold me up, support me, and love me regardless. I love the fact that I can use my gifts to create, explore, and challenge myself. I love the church family that the Lord has surrounded me with to point me toward Christ each day. I love a lot of it because it’s all I know.
But yet I despise it. I despise that there is hurt and suffering. I despise that there is bondage. I despise that there is such deep sin, and struggles. I despise that I have to shield my heart from so much EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I despise that moral issues are being re-written and that we live in a feel good society. I despise that Satan is attacking marriages like none other. My heart aches for no more struggles and no more pain.
Romans 8:18 “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us”
This week has been an extremely exhausting week; mentally, emotionally, physically. And yes, it’s only Thursday! I sat in bed crying last night, unsure of all the emotions I was feeling. But through all the mascara running down my face, I opened His Word and allowed God to begin His work. It ended up being a night where there was little sleep, but a whole lot of rest (if that even makes sense). I stayed up just soaking in all that I could from Him and His Word. The Lord and I hashed out some things, as I had to come face to face with some tough realities. But it was in that intimate time with the Lord that He reminded me that although there is bad in this world, there is still good.
He reminded me that He created us to be the good. To PRAY without ceasing, to LOVE the broken, to LIVE lives that reflect Him, and to REACH people one relationship at a time! And there is was again…hope. The thing that felt to have slipped away in all the hustle and bustle of the weeks frantics. Hope that I can be that light that so many are struggling to see. Hope that I can encourage others to follow His rules. To live by His standards. To be life changers wherever they end up. Hope that even in this world of ups and downs there is an unrelenting amount of good.
And in my late night conversation with the Lord, I was encouraged to step up. My life needs to look different from the things I so deeply despise. My life can be an example of the blessings that come from having a Savior, running to Him during the hurt and struggles instead of from Him. Praying for Jesus to free those I love, to crush the enemy who fights to destroy, and love the brokenhearted in order to shine light into their lives. My life needs to be a reflection of who my Savior is.
So yeah. That’s my heart today.
It’s been a bit heavy lately. But I needed to challenge myself to step back and realize that although at times it looks and feels hopeless, the Lord uses the weak. And so today is a new day, still filled with the same trials as yesterday, but today holds a new hope in my heart and a new outlook on what it means to follow after Jesus.
Romans 8: 37-39 “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”