giving God the pen.

 

From my own past struggles with singleness and with talking with many of my single friends lately, I have realized that the biggest fear that us single women deal with is that we believe that if we don’t take matters into our own hands, then we will miss every opportunity to be married. I know that might sound absurd- but it’s a real fear that we carry around with ourselves, believing it to be truth.

Today’s guys aren’t often times the most well-trained in the art of winning, pursuing, and cherishing the heart of a woman. But can we blame them? Look at all the modern movies where men are made to look weak, or the fact that women are taking the reins and being the ones to pursue the men. (It’s all very confusing). Continuously I hear women talk about how they feel that they’re playing a game “Survival of the Fittest”, in which the available men quickly get claimed by the most aggressive women, while the ones who guard their feminine mystery and focus on Christ alone get passed over. It truly breaks my heart to see and hear this!

And lets be honest, the modern voices and the urgent whisperings of the enemy don’t make this battle any easier. In the past I attempted to “give God a hand” in finding my spouse (not quite sure what I was thinking), but I was annoyed with the waiting process and believed that I could give God some assistance. Recently I have talked to many girlfriends who feel that EXACT same way; that they need to be strategic and assist God in finding their future husband.

So here is the hard truth…when we believe those things and feel as though the God of the universe who created ALL things needs our help, we are displaying how little faith we have in Him. We are taking the pen out of His hands and attempting to write our own story. But, and this is a big but, if and when the time comes for us to be married, God will orchestrate our love story.  And in the meantime, our focus should be on serving Him and pouring our life out for Him!!! It should not be wasted on desperately seeking a spouse.  Because ultimately, the timing is up to Him, not us.

Why am I so convinced that we are to remain fully dependent upon Christ in every area of our life, including this one?  Because throughout our lives, whether we are willing to acknowledge it or not, God has always been faithful. He sent Jesus to this earth to be a perfect example of living our lives with purpose, His purpose. Jesus did nothing of His own accord, but only did what God instructed Him to do, when God instructed Him to do it.

In John 5:19 Jesus said “most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.” And it’s not that Jesus was actually helpless – rather, He deliberately chose to be completely dependent upon His Father for every word, every choice, and every action. What if our lives looked like that? How much different and more fulfilling our season of singleness would be, if we deliberately chose to be completely dependent on God with every word, every choice, and every action!!

Certainly there are steps we can take- I absolutely love praying for my future spouse, whomever it may be. And I’ve learned to focus daily on being obedient to God’s voice as He guides my steps in the process. In this season of singleness, our focus should be pursuing Christ and our relationship with Him.

So here’s the application piece: Allow the Holy Spirit to search your heart!! Are you attempting to give God a hand in finding a guy and getting married? Are you trying to create a relationship with someone who you know is not who God has for you? Do you really believe that Christ can fulfill you at the deepest levels of your soul? And are you willing to make Jesus your first love?

These are difficult questions to face. I came face to face with them a couple years ago. I learned that God cares so much more about this area of my life than even I did. He desperately wants to be first place in our hearts, so that He can bless us beyond all we could think or ask. Our God is a loving, faithful, and awesome God! And a heart that is focused on Christ is a doorway into an abundant life, into the most glorious relationship we could ever imagine. I encourage you in this season of singleness to pursue a daily romance with the One who loves you more than you can ever comprehend. He tenderly cares about each and every detail of your life- and yes, that includes who you marry.

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“The Lord Jesus acted at all times on the assumption that His Father was handling the situation, and Jesus simply took care to obey His Father’s instructions.  Even when He was being reviled and tortured, ‘He left His case in the hands of God’ (1 Peter 2:23) By this submission to His Father, Jesus ‘learned obedience’ (Heb 5:8) as a Man, and the obedience was total; ‘He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death – even the death of the Cross’ (Phil 2:8)  Now, as God, He asks the same of you and me.”  Ian Thomas

Obedience. Not An Easy Thing.

Truth Moment: I’m a procrastinator.

I know the things that I should or need to be doing, but I always put it off- at least for a little while. I have even learned how to procrastinate while I’m in the middle of procrastinating (pretty sure that’s a talent). 

Over the years of growing closer in my relationship with Jesus- I have learned that He is not a dilly-dallier. One thing that accompanies being a follower of Jesus is a little thing called ‘obedience’. Real obedience, like immediate response type of obedience. Not the kind of obedience that you put on the shelf until you can get around to it.

I have learned over the years that our obedience to God is not optional (even thought at times we would like it to be). The more we grow in our relationship with the Lord, the more we see His greatness, and then our response to His commands become more immediate. Obedience to Him becomes a reflex. It becomes who we are, not what we do.

Obedience can begin to feel like a burden if it’s just something we have to continuously stay on top of. But obeying Jesus isn’t about making sure we do one thing and don’t do another. He tells us in John 14:15 that obedience is the result of time spent with Him and flows naturally from our love for Him.  He says, “If you love Me, you will obey Me”.

Over the years I’ve learned that there are different stages of obedience.

First, submitting our lives to Jesus.

This is the start of our relationship with Jesus. Of course, submission is always voluntary. Jesus does not force us to follow Him, but He invites us. And what I love most is that He will never stop inviting us to have a close, intimate relationship with Him. But in order to have that relationship- we need to be willing to submit our lives to Him and His will for us.

Secondly, getting to know Jesus.

A strong relationship with Jesus can’t be built overnight. It takes time. And we get to know Jesus by spending time with Him in prayer and in reading His Word. Even when times are tough and uncertain, the Holy Spirit is there to remind us of how much Jesus had to endure on earth; how He dealt with all life’s struggles and decisions. The more we get to know Jesus, the clearer we can hear and understand His desires for us.

And thirdly, obeying Jesus.

As much as we try to be consistent, we will continue to find it impossible to obey Jesus in our own strength. (Trust me, I have tried). It’s Jesus and His strength that does it for us. Jesus says in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Our life of obedience is the result of the Holy Spirit in our lives and the fruit we bear from our relationships with Jesus. This fruit shows everyone around us that we belong to Him.

As long as we (the branches) remains in Jesus (the grapevine), we receive the nourishment we need in our lives to produce fruit. Obedience is supernatural evidence of what abiding in Jesus looks like. All of our good deeds and true successes come from His nourishment, not from our own natural abilities, good sense or cleverness.

In John 15:1, Jesus calls His Father the gardener. While I don’t know much about gardening, I do know that a good gardener reaps a good harvest only after putting in hours and hours of work. Rocks need to be removed, weeds pulled, and plants watered. But then there is also pruning. Pruning is when the gardener has to cut away all the dead and overgrown branches. Jesus goes on to say in John 15:2 that “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” Pruning can be painful, but it’s necessary in our walk with the Lord.

Obedience was honestly a tough lesson for me to learn; and immediate obedience even more difficult. We all have our moments and seasons of rebellion.We yell out when God wants to get rid of something we are holding onto so dearly; whether pride, relationships, dreams, etc. But God’s ultimate goal is for each and every one of us is to be fruitful. So when those tough lessons, moments, and seasons arise- remember to submit, listen, and obey.

God’s grace is abundant and it’s through His grace that we experience the fruit of immediate obedience.

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